


die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain

by typervoxilations



Category: Original Work
Genre: Insane!Javi, M/M, Nightmare Route, Nightmare!Javi, fuck me why do I do this to myself
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-03-19 01:42:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3591612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/typervoxilations/pseuds/typervoxilations
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of drabbles for the Javi dating sim, but in which everything goes wrong and everyone you loves dies. Probably more than once. Also known as the Nightmare Routes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Louis Alphonse D'Angelerre

**Author's Note:**

> Basically this is part of a thing I accidentally brought to life with my lovely [bae](goldentippy.tumblr.com), and this is what happens when we get too invested ☆⌒(ゝ。∂)
> 
>  
> 
> ~~If you're wondering what that is, we kill off our characters at least twice (◡‿◡✿)~~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Louis is kidnapped by bandits and couple of bad choices has Javi ending up very late to the party.   
> And by party, we mean mass slaughter.

   Red, red, red, everything Javi saw was red. Everything he felt and tasted and breathed was tinted red, like fire, like hot iron, like-

   His sword plunged into the stomach of a screaming man and he swung sideways, cutting clean through their hip and blood splattered across the stones, further splattering his drenched clothes and stained skin, across his impassive face - though his eyes were burning, burning; rage roaring through his veins like a forest fire, a wild beast.

   " _Where is he?_ " He snarled as he grabbed a disarmed opponent by the collar and yanked him forward. " _WHERE IS HE!?_ "

   No one could answer him quickly enough - either they didn't know or they didn't seem to understand him; he wasn't quite sure which language he was using anymore, Espanian and Gallish and what little he knew of Viteliscan colliding into a gnarled mess in the turmoil of thoughts that revolved only around Louis, Louis,  _Louis_. He barely waited for their stammering before he cut them down. His arms burned from the effort of fighting so many enemies but he had only one goal in mind. He was afraid, so, so afraid, and his fear only fed to his fury. It was all his fault; if he had just been more careful-

   It seemed to take forever for him, but eventually there was one who spluttered a location; Javi's only mercy was to make his death quick and painless.

   And then he was running, feet pounding on the hard stone as his heart pounded against his ribcage, breathing harsh, mindless of sharp turns in the corridor.

   "Louis!"

   The walls seemed to close down on him, as he kicked down cell door after wooden cell door, none of them containing anything to alleviate the vice around his heart.

   " _LOUIS!_ "

   It seemed to take a lifetime. His shoulder ached with unimaginable pain but he was blind to it. There was only one left, and he prayed to the gods, any of them, all of them, as he rammed his bruised, bloody, probably dislocated shoulder into it with the desperation of a madman and burst through-

   And his breath rushed out of him as if someone had squeezed his lungs and they had burst. If all the other rooms hadn't been empty he would not have realized the pitiful form before him, curled in on himself, blonde hair matted with blood and  _gods knew_ what else. Javi dropped his sword to the ground with a clang - he'd regret that later but not now,  _not right now_  - and he hardly registered moving forward, hands outstretched. His knees hit the stone so hard every injury screamed in protest but he was already scooping Louis up into his arms, holding him close and a dry shuddering sob shook his entire frame.

   "Lou." He rasped. "Louis. Open your eyes. Gods above. Please. Don't-"

_Don't let me have been too late._

The figure in his arms twitched, trying to push him away, but he was  _moving_ and Javi nearly shattered with relief. Louis coughed, and it was rattling and weak, but it was  _something._ "...y-you're...hurt..." His voice was a bare whisper, and Javi could barely hear him, but his words were ironic enough that it forced a bitter laugh past his lips. 

   "You should see the other guy." He tried to joke back, but it got stuck in his throat, tripping off his tongue, and wasn't as light-hearted as he wanted it to be. Javi didn't even want to think about the implications of Louis's flinch, but he held on tight, burying his face into Louis's shoulder and shakily inhaling; unable to say anything else for fear of his voice cracking. Half of the blood wasn't even his, more than half probably, since he hadn't noticed being injured in his madness, but he'd deal with what came afterwards later. He kissed Louis's forehead, hugging him close. "I'm going... I-I'm getting you out of here okay? Hold on." He whispered, refusing to acknowledge all the blood on the floor that wasn't spilling off his own skin; the dark red that stained Louis's clothing, ripped and torn. Javi's arms were unsteady and the pain of all his injuries was finally getting to him; his shoulder screamed in protest every time he breathed, but he still struggled to lift Louis's - alarmingly - light body from the cold stone floor. "H-hey, c'mon don't look at me like that."  _Don't look at me like you've already given up._  "I can get us out of here. Please, I-" 

   Louis's hand squeezed his gently and his words trickled off with a sharp inhale - recognizing for what it was. They had never kept anything from each other, and Louis was always better at words than he ever could be, but there were times when they never said anything at all and they didn't have to. He really, really wished this hadn't counted as one of those times. "Louis..." He whispered hoarsely. "Don't do this to me. We have time, we can-" He gripped Louis's hand back, as if holding on tightly enough could keep Louis there with him. "I can mend this, I can-" But he knew deep down that it was too much, even to his untrained eye. He had been forced to play the role of temporary field physician many times before; this was not something you could survive, no matter how much his heart was screaming at him otherwise.

   Wishful thinking.

   He never had those before.

   "We still have so much to do." His voice was raw, from screaming, from smoke, from rage, rough and low and tearing at his vocal chords. It hurt him to speak but it would haunt him forever if he didn't. "There were so many things you promised me we'd do and-" His voice really did crack this time and he had to take a deep breath before continuing. "We're going travelling remember?"

   Louis had a drifting, faraway look in his eye as he smiled, faint and trembling. 

   "We're... going to r-ride the gondola... 'Hijack' it, you said."

   "You said you're gonna show me the coast. Make me fall in love with it so I'll never want to go back to Gran Espanares."

   "The coast... has very i-interesting flora. You'll love... how vibrant... they are..."

   Louis's eyes fluttered, his breathing going softer, quieter, and he leaned his head against the crook of Javi's neck, his hand tracing feather-light circles on the pirate's cheek with his thumb. Javi held Louis's hand to his cheek as if he could hold the moment forever. "Javi...I'm sleepy..." Javi shook his head.

   "Louis, no,  _please_ , keep your eyes open. We're going to go home;  _I'm going to take you home._ You promised right? You said a prince would never go back on his word." 

   Louis's smile was so peaceful that Javi could almost believe that everything was going to be okay. "I did... didn't I?" 

   " _Me llevará toda una vida para ser capaz de olvidarte._ " The desperation overtook Javi's voice and he felt another dry sob rattle through his chest. His fingers tightened over Louis's slackening grip. " _It will take me a lifetime to be able to forget you,_ that's what I swore to you remember? You told me that I would never have to worry about forgetting you."

   "...I'm sorry... Javier..." Louis's voice was less than a whisper now, barely a sigh. "... _t_ _e amo mucho... y eso n-nunca va a cambiar._ "

    _I love you so much, and it will never change._

   Javi felt his heart crack when Louis exhaled one last shuddering breath, and then gravity was trying to pull Louis's immobile fingers from his own. 

   Pain, sharp and bitter, dug into his chest and the ache became the only thing he felt, as he held Louis to him and an animalistic cry of grief tore through his throat, and it felt like something important was breaking inside him. Soundless tears burned a fiery path down his face as he just kneeled there, unmoving; feeling his heart splinter the longer he stared at Louis's unnaturally still face, remembering how animated it had been, smile warm and bright like the sun. But now, the it was frozen and lifeless. The dungeons hadn't been all that warm to begin with but now that he was alone...

   ....it was so cold.

   It was so very cold and-

   He needed to get Louis home.

   The thought settled in his mind, his sole purpose, dark roots slipping into the cracks that had formed, strangling everything else that tried to batter against his broken mind. Louis was hurt and Javi needed to get him home. His sisters were waiting for him.  _His kingdom_ was waiting for him. 

   It seemed like an eternity before Javi moved, holding Louis close to him as he seemed to forget his injuries, retrieving his sword with a silence that contrasted his earlier grief, but he swung it with the same deadly grace. He seemed almost serene in his calm. "Don't worry Louis." He murmured, a gleam in his eyes as the last whisper of his sanity slipped away. "I can mend this. I'll get us back. Don't worry. I can save you." His voice was almost fond, loving; as if he were talking to a Louis who was alive. The corpse in his arms was heavy and cold, but he didn't seem to realize this, carrying him as carefully as if he were merely assisting him in walking. Javi limped his way back up the cell corridor as if he had all the time in the world, up the stairs and back to the front gates, meeting relatively little to no obstacles; most of those who had escaped his wrath had fled.

   But there were still those that were stupid enough to think they could take him, not wanting to lose the prize of their royal hostage. They came for him now that one hand was occupied. Javi's eyes narrowed, and he held Louis to him tighter, ignoring the way his head flopped onto his shoulder lifelessly. "Don't get in the way," He warned them, and his voice was almost cold enough to escape him in a white clouds. "I don't have time for you." But they sneered and ran at him all at once - 

   And then they weren't, fresh blood glistening wet and black on the opaque sheer of Javi's sword. "I said," he murmured. "I don't have time for you." They collapsed as he glided past, Louis's head lolling against his shoulder. "Sorry, I know you don't like violence." He apologized gently, and the dangerous expression he was wearing immediately melted away as he returned his attention to the body in his arms, pressing a kiss to an unresponsive cheek. "But we're in a hurry. Your injuries need tending to. Hang in there. We're almost out."

   The courtyard was devoid of life, instead piled with corpses, blood running through the cracks between the stones like tiny red rivers, but Javi carried Louis past without a second glance; pausing only to sheathe his sword and scooping Louis into his arms bridal style before continuing on his way, away from the bandit's headquarters.

   "You're safe now, _mi principe._ " He smiled, and tilted Louis's head towards him to press an insistent kiss against his lips.

    _"I won't let anyone hurt you ever again."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //cracks knuckles  
> One down, five to go.  
> Oh boy.


	2. BONUS: Louis Alphonse D'Angelerre

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short Bonus Epilogue from Louis's ending.  
>  _Louis was not gone._  
>  _No matter what anyone else said._  
>  _He was simply not._  
>  _After all, he was right here with him._

   " _He's not dead_ , how could you say that!?"

   A gaggle of maids shrieked as Javi snarled, scattering when the vase went crashing to the ground and splintering. Juno held her head high but for a split second, there had been the tiniest of flinches, and Alessa made a small sound of distress from where Juno had pushed her behind her. "I don't know what kind of sick game you're playing, Javier, but it's time for you to _stop_." Her voice cracked on the final word, barely holding her composure together, but refusing to let her emotions get the best of her. "You brought back a _corpse._ He's  _gone._ If you continue to insist with this _blatant_   _disrespect,_ I will have you imprisoned." 

   He had forgotten, for a second, that this was not just a friend he was speaking to; Juno D'Angelerre had been a princess - and now she was a queen.

   Javi didn't understand. 

   Louis was  _fine._

He just needed to rest. His injuries would heal.

    _Of course he wasn't dead._

   This had to be a ploy. A plot. His eyes narrowed. Of course. Juno only wanted the throne for herself. She had always wanted it, how could he not have realized? It was a throne that belonged to Louis, and only Louis. She wasn't allowed to take that from him. Anger curled his lip and he knew he should hold his tongue, swallowing acidic words as if they were bile, but he couldn't help himself, spiteful and furious. 

   "Not even crowned yet and already throwing your weight around, _princess_?" 

   " _Javier_!"

   Alessa's anguished cry was echoed by the sharp crack of a slap - Javi didn't realize what had happened until he registered that he was staring at the floor and his cheek stung with the pin-and-needle pain of a flat-palmed strike, the tiny cuts Juno's nails made on his face. He was frozen in that position when Juno whirled away in a frenzied rustle of her skirts, followed by Alessa and the maids. The heavy double doors closed silently behind the last woman, and it seemed to free him from whatever had him immobile. With an agonized roar, he swept the rest of the ceramic bottles off the vanity, not even bothering to watch them shatter against the stone floor, before he whirled on his heels and made a beeline to the bed.

   All the commotion hadn't woken Louis up, thankfully; he was still sleeping peacefully. The doctors must have given him a powerful sleeping draught, he mused as he tucked a strand of blonde hair behind Louis's ear. "Wake up soon okay?" He murmured. "We'll show them all that you're okay." A dangerous look flitted through his eyes, gleaming sharp as a razor blade. "And then I'll make her apologize for what she did." How dare she claim to love the kingdom and its people and her brother when she was stealing away the very thing that meant the most to him? "I won't let her do it. I promise." He hummed as he stroked Louis's hair, like he always did when Louis had fallen asleep before he did, looking as innocent and angelic as the mornings Javi would stay up to watch the first rays of sunlight touch them. The image was so familiar, so tranquil, that he had to smile as he kissed Louis's forehead gently.

   Louis's skin was so cold to the touch; Javi immediately adjusted the blankets around him more snugly so he wouldn't get ill. 

   A nervous rapping at the door immediately brought back his sour mood and he reluctantly slid off the bed to see to it. 

   One of the maids stood there, a man dressed in all black behind her; Javi's eyes narrowed and the trembling servant girl flinched away from him. Going so far as to call a member of the church? Juno had gone too far. "What do you want?" His voice was pitched dangerously low, the door opened just a crack so that neither of them could enter the room. 

   "H-h-her highness ordered th-that h-his majesty be attended t-to as q-quickly as possible." The girl stammered. "I-it's of our faith th-that the recently d-deceased-" 

   "You can bring him back when there has been an actual death that needs to be attended to," he cut her off without waiting for her to finish explaining; his tone was cold enough to lower the temperature and the maid looked on the verge of tears. "The only person Louis needs to take care of him right now is _me_." He withdrew while she tried to stutter an excuse, closing the door in her face, and, to be safe, turned the key on the door before retreating back to the bed. Compared to the first day he had arrived at the Viteliscan palace, in this very room, he felt even lonelier. At least then, in between being dazzled by the brightness of this new world, new life, that he had stepped into, there was always Louis, warm and open and familiar. Solid.  _His_. For some reason he felt an indescribable sadness that curled around his heart and his eyes burned, but he didn't understand why. Louis hadn't gone anywhere. There was no reason for his loneliness. Louis would wake up and everything would be alright again.

   Louis was not gone.

   No matter what anyone else said.

   He was simply _not._

   After all, he was right here with him.

   "Hurry and wake up, Louis..." He murmured into the prince's hair. "I'm waiting for you to fulfill your promise. Hurry and come back to me, _mi principe._ " 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ............fuck me I've reached new heights of plain fucking creepy.

**Author's Note:**

> Original roleplay belongs to Mimi and June! Link is in the fic For You, I'd Wait; and will put it up here as soon as I can get back on my laptop for it. All characters belong to their respective owners, since only Javier is mine.


End file.
